Finding the new you – as business owner AND mum

This article was originally published on Kids on the Coast http://www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

As a business owner you are comfortable. You juggle finance, legal, marketing, staffing, clients on a daily basis. You do it easily – if you need to work late you do; if you need to work on the weekends to catch up you do. You tell everyone you are busy, out of control even, have so many balls in the air that you can’t stop juggling in case you drop one – left, right, left you go on. AND then you add a baby.

You try to hold onto everything that you had before, you become seriously time poor, your mind is conflicted. Your priorities in life have shifted. You stop thinking about just you and start thinking about this little being. You reorganise your life so you can be there for your baby, provide for them, nurture them, enjoy those little moments. Then life somehow gets in the way and causes conflict with this new-found identity.

While your mind and body have stepped into their new role as mother, you are often finding yourself being dragged into doing the things you did before you were mother. This potentially causes you to feel anxiety and guilt. You are stuck between the expectations others have of the old you and your new life where you have a very different priority.

How do you step into your brand new identity, while still drawing on the strengths and skills of your pre-mother self?

First you need to define your new identity for yourself. Step into that role and make the changes you need to truly become the person you want to be. Write rules, create a life plan, make a vision board or get a coach. Take all the things you still love about who you were and mash it up with the person you have become. Do whatever you need to find clarity around your new role of mum and whatever you were – business owner, career person – whoever!

Surround yourself with people who will support you and keep you both motivated and accountable. You are not being selfish. You are putting the needs of your baby and family first. You are making sure that you are fulfilled and not being left stressed and full of guilt.

You are making the changes that will lead you to achieving balance.

Finding forgotten pieces of time

This article was originally published on Business Women Media - http://www.thebusinesswomanmedia.com

The biggest complaint everyone has is that they do not have enough time. What most people fail to remember is that we all have the same amount of time as each other. There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 52 weeks in a year. We all get the same. What differs from person to person is what we choose to do with that time.

Efficient people have schedules and processes in place. They outsource or employ others. They put a value on not only their own time but family time also. They appear organised and in control, and that is the bit we all want to achieve – the feeling that everything is in balance and that we have the time to do the things that we enjoy.

So where do you start. The hardest thing to do is what needs to happen first. Stop saying ‘I am so busy’, ‘I have no time in the day’, ‘I can’t control what I do in a day’, ‘I am not the sort of person who can set up and live by systems.’ This is the story that you have been telling yourself for a long time – by saying these things you start to believe that it is true. With this story playing in your head you will never move to a place that you can gain control and achieve balance.

By using these next tips you will be able to find forgotten bits of time:

1. Record how you are using your time over a 2 week period (or more if you want). Look at the time you spend working, being domestic, with your children, your partner, for yourself, your friends, sleeping, eating, driving and so on. Colour code it.

2. Analyse what you have found out about yourself. Maybe you will find some of those stories you have been telling yourself that you don’t spend time with your kids, or you don’t do anything for yourself are not entirely true. Can you see where you are spending too much time? Or maybe not enough time?

3. Schedule your life. Schedule everything. Run separate calendars if you need to. Share those calendars with people who need to see them. Put everything in it – kids activities, work deadlines, meals to cook and so on.

4. Have task lists for all areas of your life. Allocate time to do bigger tasks. Smaller tasks can be done in those 5 minutes that you arrived at school pick-up early or waiting for kids to finish a lesson. Using those little bits of time given to you because something else was completed quicker or finished early.

5. If you repeat a task, systemise it or outsource it. Your system can be as simple or complex as you would like to make it. Some people use apps to plan their meals, some use spreadsheets, others a piece of paper on the fridge is perfect. Whatever works for you and your family.

Good luck with finding your forgotten bits of time!

Smart marketing for busy parents

This article originally appeared on Inside Small Business www.insidesmallbusiness.com.au

Many businesses face the same pain around their marketing – a lack of time and money. For new mums (or dads) who are also running their own business, the pain of finding time is very real.

New business mums are expected to juggle meeting the demands of their business and their baby equally. For many, who are also suffering post-birth depletion or other health issues, including sleep deprivation, the pressure cooker starts to build. Instead of enjoying this time in your baby’s life you start to feel pulled back into your business to “carry on as usual.”

By understanding basic marketing concepts, you will find that you can effectively market your business within the time and money that you have.

Simply marketing is research, strategy, campaigns and leads.

Research

It is important to understand your customers (actual and ideal), your products and services and also your competitors. For some businesses, it is also relevant to understand other local and global issues that may affect the way that your business operates in. A SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) plan should be created to show the research you have undertaken.

Strategy

Your marketing strategy should be closely aligned with your business goals, and they should direct all of your marketing-related activities. This includes sales, promotions and digital. A marketing mix will provide the big picture view of your marketing (four to seven P’s or C’s).

Campaigns

The campaigns that you create will deliver your strategy. This is where you can get creative. It is about breaking everything down into bite-size, achievable pieces – understanding that it will deliver on your marketing goals.

This is the bit that you can control and slow down if needed. Moreover, once the content is generated you can often automate many aspects of a campaign. However, note that while campaigns deliver on your strategy, they also fill up your lead funnel. By slowing down the activity in your campaigns, you will also slow down lead generation. This is important, especially if you have limited time to meet your customers’ expectations.

Leads

In general terms, this is about bringing your ideal client closer to doing business with you. Typically speaking, people need to see your brand three to nine times before they will do business with you. By attracting them into your lead funnel and encouraging them to engage with you more, you will increase the chances of them becoming a paying customer.

By spending some time and planning your marketing (research and strategy), you will be able to create campaigns that create leads, and leads that become sales. By automating your campaigns and your lead generation, you will not need to think about it, and you can also control the number of people in the process.

Not only can you be smarter with your time, you can also make smarter decisions with your money.

Finding The New You After Having A Baby

This article originally appeared on My Deal - www.mydeal.com.au

When you have a baby, everything changes. Most significantly your priorities in life shift. You stop thinking about just you and start thinking about this little being. You reorganise your life so you can be there for your baby, provide for them, nurture them, enjoy those little moments. Then life somehow gets in the way and causes conflict with this new-found identity.

While your mind and body have stepped into their new role as mother, you are often finding yourself being dragged into doing the things you did before you were mother. This potentially causes you to feel anxiety and guilt. You are stuck between the expectations others have of the old you and your new life where you have a very different priority.

How do you step into your brand-new identity, while still drawing on the strengths and skills of your pre-mother self?

1) First you need to define your new identity for yourself.

Step into that role and make the changes you need to truly become the person you want to be. Write rules, create a life plan, make a vision board or get a coach. Take all the things you still love about who you were and mash it up with the person you have become. Do whatever you need to find clarity around your new role of mum and whatever you were – business owner, career person – whoever!

2) Surround yourself with people who will support you and keep you both motivated and accountable.

You are not being selfish. You are putting the needs of your baby and family first. You are making sure that you are fulfilled and not being left stressed and full of guilt.

You are making the changes that will lead you to achieving balance.

Is it possible to find balance?

This article was originally published on Funsize Enterprise. www.funsizeenterprise.com

Yes. Yes, it is. And here is the secret. You need to define what balance means to you and your family. We spend our days thinking that we are out of balance. Do you ever stop to think what balance means to you? Picture what a balanced life would look like? Do you ever question society expectations of you? When was the last time you paused and considered what balance means to you and your family?

Could you let go of all of the ideas that you have around what is expected of you. This could be from your neighbour, parents, partner, your internal chatter, the community you live in or even what you see on social media? The expectations of you as a woman, man, mother, father, daughter, son, business owner, employee – all the roles of your life. What if you could write your own job description? Determine your own objectives. Performance indicators. Outcomes. What would this look like? What would it feel like?

When you think about this, are the excuses creeping in? Saying you can’t change things because there are some things you ‘need’ to do, or what would ‘society’ think if you did things a little differently. Here is the thing – we live in a big world that at this time like no other – we have the opportunity to rethink the rules of our life. We can learn from other cultures and adapt what we think might work for us. The way that we raise children, earn money – the rules are evolving. For those who are willing to write their own ‘job description’ and set their own rules, they are finding balance. More importantly they are defining their own balance.

I understand that there are the day-to-day tasks that need to be completed. You need to feed your child, change them, educate them. You need to support your partner. You may even need to look after elderly parents. You may have a boss you need to answer to, or clients, or staff. If you are not finding fulfillment in these areas, then you need to address that. You do have the power to change your situation.

Here are some tips from When Business Meets Baby that may help you to define and achieve balance in your life:

• Rethink the expectation of being a parent
• Let go of trying to be a perfect parent
• Understand what or who your priorities are to be able achieve balance
• Ensure that you put yourself in a position where you have flexibility and choice. This gives you better control on the outcomes
• Learn to go with the flow be relaxed and present
• Give yourself permission to live in the moment
• Measure, track and review how you use your time
• Change your perspective on life – walk a new path often
• Find or create your support community (village) and give help to others without being asked
• Stay inspired everyday

You can choose, today, to make a change. To walk a new path. To create the rules in your life that will lead you to feeling balanced. Balance isn’t something that will just happen, nor is it something that you will feel always. There will be times where you will not have balance, and that is normal. What is not normal is to be living everyday struggling to tick of the to-do list, not seeing an end in sight. To be neglecting ourselves, our partners and our children in the pursuit of getting ‘stuff done’.

Take a breath and make the changes you need to find your own version of balance in your life.

Getting back into business after a baby

This article originally published on The Business Women Media: http://www.thebusinesswomanmedia.com/

You have a beautiful baby who you love above anything else. You have taken time for your body to heal and you have fully stepped into your new identity as mother. Now your business is calling you back. Needing you, wanting you to invest. You want the intellectual stimulation that your business gives you, your head says it still wants to be with your baby. How do you get back into business after a baby.

You need to find balance between providing for your business and your baby. More importantly you need to be able to disconnect from your ‘mother’ role and focus on your business. You also then need to be able to disconnect from business owner and step back into being mother. Constantly switching roles and being present in both.

Many women have and continue to switch between both roles successfully. Here is one big tip to help you: To be effective in your business you need dedicated space and time.

Dedicated space

This is not your lounge room or dining room table or a corner of the spare room. You need a space that is for your business, that you can set-up your computer and organise your ‘work’. A place that you can invite people into to talk business. A space that you can make uniquely yours. Where you feel motivated to work.

This space could be a ‘study’ inside the house, or a converted shed or garage. You may choose to rent an office or space in a business centre or co-working space. Sometimes having space away from home means your business is taken a little more seriously. Although having a space at home can be useful if your baby is still little.

Importantly you need to make sure that this space is respected by your family. That when you are working, you are not interrupted. That your work is respected, and the space doesn’t become an extension to a playroom.

Dedicated time

Here is the choice – you can spend hours juggling between your laptop and your baby – trying to meet the needs of both at the same time. Not able to get your head into work and starting to get angry at your child for taking you away from your work. Or you can invest in some childcare and get productive time in your business. The options are endless – childcare centres, family day care, in house babysitters or nannies, relatives or even swapping with friends. Some co-working spaces also offer childcare.

If you know that every week you will have so many hours that you can dedicate totally to your business, then you can schedule time to do the work. You can work through daily task lists more efficiently. People start to learn when they can, or can’t contact you. You become efficient with how you use your time and your business grows
.

Building a Community for Support

Support that thing you think you have until you need. People think you don’t need support because they see that you are getting on and getting the job done! Such a vicious cycle.

One thing my partner said when we found out we were pregnant was that it was going to be super hard as we did not have much family close by. There was my brother who was fabulous in the early days but that was all. At the time my stubborn self went ‘we can do it. It is just a baby’. In reality I should have taken his words and looked for my support community.

I did find some support in a women business network I was part of in Ballarat, but it was short lived. I have also found good support in a national networking group for mums. These have accepted I am a mum and allowed me to bring my daughter if needed. But they didn’t help when the pressure cooker was on and I needed hands on help with baby or home. That I have had to either work through or pay someone.

Recently I was ill and we couldn’t find a babysitter and we missed out on a business opportunity. I let people down and it didn’t sit well with me – in fact I was angry. What I realised was that I had to create a ‘community’ that I could call on to help me out when needed, and that I could help them also. I put a call out on social media and yes I got an amazing response…I had my community. People I was not afraid to ask for help from.

It is interesting that in Western society’s we believe we have to do it all alone, to be super parent, super business person, domestic god – no support, no asking for help. Yet in Eastern societies children are brought up by a village. Interesting thought…..

I am not a person to ask for help. And I usually wait until I crash and burn prior to seeking help. Each time I have crashed and burned since the business met the baby, I have reached out and asked for help or more specifically I have paid someone. At first it was staff to try and pick up my workload, then it was a babysitter to enable me to have dedicated time to work, then childcare, then a cleaner, then it was reducing my workload altogether and defining and focusing on core business.

Focusing on core business – and defining what it was that I wanted to achieve for me was the key to gaining clarity for both myself and the business. To start thinking in the way that if I was giving my time away to someone, especially if they did not appreciate that time, and it was not core business, that I would rather give that time to my family. To be clear about what I wanted to achieve in the business. When it came to meeting commitments in the business that were about achieving the goals then I needed to call on my support community.

While my support community 4 years ago would have been very different to the one that I have created today, I still would have reached out and asked for help or at least accepted the help when people offered it. I read in the books that if you were to visit a new mother/family then the best thing you could do was help with the housework, washing, cooking or not stay for too long. And it is so true. The best visitors I had after Sophie was born was one who brought 4 meals worth of soup, packed individually and ready to freeze and one who put her family on a time limit of 20 minutes.

I also realised that just because I to 4 months to catch up with someone – was probably the next best thing I could do other than cooking a meal or 2 for them!

If you don’t have a reliable support network around you then you need to create one. If you are to continue to run a business and meet the needs of that, then there will be times that circumstances fall out of your control and you need the extra little bit of support.

How do you get support? Or do you not reach out and ask for it?