Monday, 22 January 2018

Asking for help.....why is it so hard?

As an independent, high achiever, I am used to just getting on and getting the job done. At whatever cost to my health and time. Well I used to be until I had a child and my priorities shifted. The person I used to be would not ask for help, I would just keep pushing through and make it happen. Then I refocused and started to ask for help, I even give help, without question. I offer even to help people out - take their kids, cook a meal, give them an ear to help with business.

I find being helpful and receiving help so gratifying. So why don't we ask for help. Why don't we take it when it is given. Why are we afraid of 'help'.

I have heard excuses like 'I couldn't take the help' = your pride and ego are in the way. Or 'I would only have to help them back' = either selfishness or a lack of confidence in yourself. Maybe the person giving help does not expect anything in return.

We are increasingly moving into a sharing economy - Uber, Air B&B - to mention a few. We can share cars, driveways, caravans, swap houses. We can trade our time on air tasker. Even my parents were part of a 'babysitting club' which allowed them the odd night out with no kids.

Human's have never raised children alone - we started in villages, many society's still encourage a village way of raising children. Children who have different influences in their life, create different values and have a broader way of looking at life. Parents need to let go of the belief that we must do it all alone. More importantly we need to trust in others to look after our children.

If your children are being looked after you will have more time to give your business dedicated focus. Or maybe if you want to raise your children in your way, you need to let go off some aspects of your business. Which brings up more excuses 'I don't have the money' 'I am a control freak and can't let go' 'I don't know who to ask' 'I tried it once and it cost me more money and time'. Have you heard yourself say any of those things?

A question - what do you want from your business? Why are you in business? What sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve those wants and whys? Is it time today with your children, or is it handing over tasks and some control to others in your business - so you can have time with your children today? Or maybe you will leave business growth and success until tomorrow - when your children need you less. How will that fit with your ego and need for stimulation outside being a mum.

There are so many reasons why you should gracefully accept help, ask for it from your support community and also give it. All without expectations - just because you can. Start listening for when people need help and offer it. Also next time you feel the pressure building - ask for help!

If you would like to book a clarity session with Rachel to explore this further then please follow this link

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